stm4e (stm4e) wrote,

Perpetual Worry

Our baby came Thursday (Joseph Robert, 8 lbs, 8 ozs), and we're going through what I hope is a relatively normal recovery/transition process. It's stressful and tiring, but I think things are going ok so far.

A few weeks ago, I said to one of my friends at work "Boy, it would really help if I could see the baby. That way, I'd know it looks ok and doesn't have any major problems, and I won't have to worry any more". His response was "You never stop worrying, you just trade in your worries for different things".

I laughed him off as an overprotective parent, but now that I'm experiencing it, boy, was he right. And all the worries I'm having are silly. Well, maybe "silly" isn't the wrong word, perhaps "unlikely".

Over the last few days, some of the thoughts that have gone through my head..

  • "Boy, I hope the kid comes out alive." (yup)

  • "Boy, I hope the kid comes out healthy/has a good Apgar score" (yup, 9/10)

  • "Hey, why does he have one of his eyes closed. It looks like it's fused shut. OH MY GOD, HE'S MISSING AN EYE!!!" (um, no)

  • "Ok, well, the eye is there, but maybe he can't see out of it!" (No, he's able to send both eyes to focus on his mom. Apparently I'm not very interesting).

  • "Why isn't he freaking out by this really annoying beeping in this room? Is he deaf?" (No, they do a hearing test right after birth, which I find fascinating, and he came out fine)

..and so on. The current worry is that they take some blood to test for metabolic disorders, and we haven't heard back from them about it yet. Which is normal, and we have no reason to think anything's wrong, but that doesn't change my worry. I guess you just trade off these low-grade neuroses for the rest of your life.
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